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Pull The Thorns From Your Heart

by Senses Fail

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“How does the rose open its heart and give the world its beauty?” It bathes in the light, the love of the sun encouraging its blooming You be the ground where nothing is sown and plant the seeds of love to grow, Cultivate the change you seek Love is not a song sung by the weak  When in the trap of doubt, remember it’s a cloud This to shall pass and fade, impermanence to pain What is the body but a shadow of a shadow of our love, in which the whole universe resides There is only wind in that well and there have always been keys in the cell It takes compassion to confront your pain It takes strength to be vulnerable enough to float on the rivers of shame  “Be ground, be crumbled, you’ve been stoney for too long” “let wild flowers grow where you are” let your heart burst, let it explode
I used to want to die but now I believe, not in a distant god but there is a love I found in me I’d rather be awake and in pain than asleep Singing as if no one can hear takes more courage than you think I carried the weight in the only way I knew I was scared enough to lie and say that I’m okay When inside I was dying, so confused, so alone, so afraid   I hope you never know what it’s like to hide a piece of yourself inside To be so fucking ashamed you’d rather kill yourself than be alive I want to be alive I carried the weight in the only way I knew I am still scared but I’ve got courage to be more vulnerable and one day free Now my heart isn’t covered with concrete, I can breathe No longer scared of the vulnerability  No longer scared of the person that I see
Sometimes I get so silent I can hear my heartbeat Sometimes I get so silent, the memories come back to me But now I know, there is suffering no one should have to feel Hiding the truth, because it wasn’t safe to be open with who I was, it left me in agony The shame, the sadness, the darkness surrounded every part of my being I had no compassion, no love for myself, there was no relief  Except in thoughts of death I have learned to love myself, I have learned to care, I have learned to make peace with the sadness and despair I had no compassion, no love for myself, there was no relief  Except in thoughts of death I was so alone, buried in sadness, love dragged me out of it I want to love with the courage of an open heart
Wounds 03:48
Fear, I was so afraid to face the truth and open wide For fear that I would float away and not been seen There is a beating in my heart and it is the scariest thing I have ever felt To know that the difference between joy and sadness is such a small sliver There is a welling up of emotions inside me that I just can't bare; tears stream down my face There are moments of extreme joy, there are moments of love, there are moments of madness And this is life; we cannot change what arises, only how we greet it The pictures they fade, my horrible memories fade They burst into fire when I chose to let love be my guide Depression, anxiety and shame, they almost killed me Obsession, addiction and pain, they almost killed me The wounds that never heal are the ones you refuse to see Be the change you seek
Take Refuge 03:52
I was born with wings, yet I chose to crawl Through my mind like a desert void of anything good at all Now I hold my head up high, hang the noose up on the wall Love help me see the invisible, compassion set me free Just Let Go May I forgive myself for the person who I think I should be May I love myself even when it feels like I don’t deserve to breathe. What you seek is seeking you. “There is no agony like holding on to a untold story inside of you”, poisoning the truth Do you want to break the chains? Take refuge
Surrender 05:13
My heart breaks, it's quivering  when I stare into the sky and I know that I am part of this Unfolding into beauty, my eyes steam with tears, rainbow ribbons grace the ground I have died a thousands times, I have breathed a million breaths, but it has taken me this long to be present It's taken an eternity to see this evidence "Wisdom tells me I am nothing, my heart tells me I am everything, somewhere between the two my life flows"      There is a beating in my heart I haven’t felt in years “Thirst drove me to water where I drank from the moonlight” and now I’m free My soul is from elsewhere, I am sure of that  Surrender and empty myself of the past Refuge is waiting in the moment Surrender Don’t let your heart be turned to stone, there is a way out There is so much peace that you can have, once you see, we are not as separate as you may think The world’s an ocean and you’re a wave; we are the ocean made up of intersecting waves  There is so much love and so much kindness There is so much hope, someday you’ll find it Take the armor off your heart and let it beat
Dying Words 02:47
“Be the lamp unto yourself”, shine the light onto the truth There is so much beauty in this world, I just didn’t see it I was too busy protecting my heart, with good reason  Some of us have been so abused, so mislead, so far from love We don’t even know how far we’ve gone  Why did I stay in prison when the door was left wide open? What was it that I was clinging to? I changed the perspective, not just the view Love has changed me What are the stories you tell yourself? That you aren’t good enough or shouldn’t feel? The love that you deserve is pounding in your chest Reach inside and fucking grab it There is so much beauty, there is so much love, if you are willing to give up
I was so tired of being alone I was so tired of listening to the chorus in my head Telling myself I wasn’t good enough to be happy or proud or loving to myself What kind of life is that to lead? Finding the courage to open up my heart finally let me fucking breathe I want to believe No one should ever be judged for who they love No one should ever have to be afraid There is so much grace in being vulnerable There is so much beauty in being brave I learned to love myself, turpentine away the pain What I found underneath was a quivering heart ready to beat   I am no longer afraid to die in shame“ Why do you stay in prison, when the door is so wide open. Move outside the triangle of fear-thinking. Live in silence. Flow down and down in always widening rings of being.” - Rumi
I don’t want to be afraid of this life anymore I don’t want to be suffocated by the weight Who was this person I was pretending to be? Silent compassion broke these chains of misery Scared to death of being vulnerable  So I need everything I could to put the walls up I locked myself and held myself in a cell of shame, screaming for a change Pull the thorns from your heart I tried so hard to run away from the truth I hated myself so I abused my soul, my heart, my body for the sexuality that I didn’t choose Devastated by shame, I was so entrenched in pain I found that hell is the absence of loving self  I’ve been looking for a pearl, this whole time it’s been right in my chest I went diving to the depths of hell once, but I only found death “He said to me, don’t be afraid of your end. Be bold, be authentic, be brave enough to love again” And he said,   “Pull the thorns from your heart, to wander in the fields of flowers” Give up a little, gain a little peace Empty yourself, become eternity I will not die in shame
There is something in my heart telling me to let go Put away all of your armor; it’s got to kill me if I want to grow It’s a choice that I must make so I can be free The times that you take to wait for all the things that you need Are the times that you’ve wasted Reach up from the soil and bloom, “go to the places that scare you” Shine the light on what is it that you’re not willing to see We are all returning home We think we are separate, so we roam Searching for something to satisfy this thirst, we must turn inward    “Do you hear that roaring between your ears?” Do you have the courage to listen? Can you make peace with your fear? You can wait for death to come or you can take a chance and leap And be like melting snow, wash away all that you’ve known You could wait for death to come or you can take a chance and leap Into the great unknown, do you fear what you might see?
We all struggle to breathe sometimes, we all just want to feel alive I just get so damn scared at night that I won’t be the person who I should  This life is so fragile, we can break in two We can face that truth with grace and choose to lose our hardened views One day I will be gone but all the things that I have done will remain, they will remain; my actions remain There is nothing sadder than an unlived life You cannot run from the things you hide You must turn and face the fear inside  We are all longing for connection, we are all longing for acceptance There is nothing that shows more strength than meeting pain with compassion Because we all have wounded hearts, we are all just as blind in the dark    We all quiver in fear when the ones we love disappear  But the love they gave us, it stays here But the love they showed us, it stays here   it stays here stays here here


released June 30, 2015




Senses Fail New Jersey


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